Screw the Games – get ready for the sexual Olympics
It’s fair to say that the people of Great Britain aren’t exactly wetting themselves with excitement over the Olympics. Which I guess is a good thing, as that’s not exactly the smoothest of moves. But maybe we should be a little more excited than we are. Talk to anyone about the fact that the games are starting in just a matter of weeks and you’ll probably get a load of complaints about overcrowded transport, beer going up to £20 a pint, some exciting mutterings about flat subletting and a bunch of half-arsed plans about hitchhiking to Panama to avoid the whole thing. But there’s more to it than this – endless possibilities for exhilaration, physical prowess, spectacle, fireworks and human beings forcing themselves to the limits of physical performance.
Yes, that’s right. There’s going to be a great deal of sex.
In between the running around, jumping, swimming and flipping out in lycra there’s going to be some truly Olympic achievements going down.
Don’t believe us? Just take a look at what happened in Montreal. The sportsmen were getting so involved in extra-curicula activities that it almost overshadowed the fact there wasn’t any snow in time for the winter Olympics. In fact, the athletes in Montreal got so into the spirit of things that they actually caused a catastrophic condom shortage!!
A condom shortage at the games in Montreal was evident although Health officials in Vancouver have provided 100,000 free condoms to the roughly 7,000 ahtletes and officials at the Games. That's about 14 condoms per person!! 14 condoms per person, obvious for athlets, still staggering. But even those supplies started running dangerously low. The same is expected to happen in London. Possibly worse, as it's gonna be summer!
Read the whole trauma about the condom shortage here:
The shortage was necessitating a desperate emergency shipment. They ran out in Sydney too – and China decided they needed 100,000 condoms for the Bejing games, just in case.
And that was in the Montreal winter, with an average temperature of minus ten degrees Celsius putting a damper on proceeding. Can you imagine what the balmy summer smog and torrential drizzle of a London summer will do for the collective libido? The sporting elite holed up in the Olympic village this summer will be hard pushed to even make it out onto the track. At least Durex will be there, dispensing free condoms at the Olympic village.
But with all the extra condom supply, maybe the athletes won’t even have to get out of bed.
But this isn’t just a spectator sport. Sure, the athletes will be doing all the heavy lifting and setting the records. After all, they’re the professionals. But everyone can get involved in the spirit of the games! Just think about it. All of all those tourists that you’re seeing as little more than a threat to your seat on the tube? They’ll be swept up in the simmering atmosphere, caught in the exhilaration of the Olympic spirit and the excitement of being in a foreign city – drunk on the culture, the £20 pint of beer and the arousing spectacle of watching synchronised swimming, hoping for some charming native to guide them round the Olympic city and share their adventures.
That’s where you come in. Wow them with your physical prowess – climbing a tree, jump over a railing, prove you can lift a matchstick with little difficultly, and they’ll probably set a record in the race to your bedroom. And, because we don’t want a repeat of the terrible Montreal condom drought, condomadvisor.com has stocked up on a huge selection of the best selling condoms, so that when it comes to the final heat, you won’t be pipped at the post.
Just remember, we are ready for the action at Vinico !
Go to our online shop and get your condoms ready for all the sporting action in no time.